Hello Dear Reader,
I awoke this morning to hear of Robin Williams death. So often, when we hear of health statistics, we are sometimes spurred into action to do something to improve our health. How often, I wonder are we inspired to improve our mental health and well being?
We know what to do to stay healthy and yet so many of us choose to not do so. I was one of those people. I would work night after night until bedtime, getting ready for the next day. I thought I was healthy but as my weight increased so did my self loathing and my mood often sank into darkness. I thought that I couldn’t control those emotions and eventually went to my GP. Who, surprise surprise just drugged me! I was also sent for the six sessions of ‘taking therapy’ which truthfully did nothing more than get me to the self realisation that I wasn’t happy. I knew that every morning when I didn’t want to get out of bed and go to work. I also hated it, I loath self pity and didn’t want to be in the same room as anyone miserable so needed to get rid of the behaviour that caused me to be unhappy.
I now put my health and well being at the very top of my ‘to do list’ every day!
Remember here, this is not advice but this is what I do to maintain my own health and well being and it doesn’t cost me anything. So, here’s what I do to maintain my thrifty well being.
I put myself first.
You heard right. I make no excuses for this. We live in a world where we are supposed to conform to the most crippling constraints. I no longer do that. I have chosen to live with less, to buy less, to do less, to have less, to eat less, to experience less. It’s my choice. I have chosen a work life balance which means I earn less but live more. We work for 40 hours a week, we sleep for 56 hours a week and out of a week with 168 hours, that leaves 72 hours where we really should live the way we want to. My simple thrifty life is my choice, I no longer worry about materialism, about trends or what anyone else has. By stripping my life back to needs I have the time and finances to live the way I want to. I put myself first.
I don’t apologise for what I like.
I like quiet. I like Radio 4 and a cup of tea. I like order and peace. I like a notepad next to my computer. I like to sleep with the window open. I like empty places. I like sewing, reading and making things. I like to sit in the garden and listen to the birds. I like riding my bike and walking on clifftops and moorland. I like jumble sales and charity shops and the occasional farmers’ market. I like being home. I’m not going to list the things I don’t like as I don’t want negatives in my head so I focus on what I do like.
I don’t worry about money.
I’ve got this one sewn up! I bought the smallest house I could, with a tiny mortgage, with very low running costs and I live simply. I don’t have to ration or economise here as I can afford to live in it. I ‘get rid’ of money each month by overpaying the mortgage and there’s next to nothing left after that. However, I am very wealthy. I eat every day, I have a roof over my head, I can pay all my bills on time, I can dress myself and I can keep myself clean and warm. In the grand scheme of things, I am very well off and live really well.
I don’t need people to like me.
There are things I like and don’t like, do and don’t do and people are no different. I accept that. My life is no better or worse, or any richer or depleted if you like me or not. No body is responsible for anyone else’s happiness that’s a personal responsibility. It is therefore my responsibility to be happy and not yours which means I’m ok with someone not liking me. I like myself, enjoy my company and think I’m just great.
I accept the impermanence of life.
Everything comes and goes. Nothing lasts forever. Everything has the organic capability of reverting to dust and that includes, stuff, family, friends, relationships, jobs, houses, money and experiences. Nothing lasts forever, not even love. Everything has its expiry date. One day Dearly Beloved, my parents, my children, my pets, my friends and I will die. Everything is temporary. How I feel right now is not how I will feel: in ten minutes, tonight, tomorrow or next year. What I like, how I live, what I do is exactly the same. Nothing remains the same and accepting that gives me a great sense of peace. I don’t worry about when ‘it’ will end and just accept the fact that it will.
I am responsible for my own health.
Everything about my health is vital. We don’t make our own essential fatty acids and need to eat them, nor do we make our own nutrients and need to eat them. Our bodies are designed to be active, to have a percentage of muscle and a healthy weight. When I was over weight (I’m still over weight and constantly working on that one) I was tired, less active and not happy with my appearance. It was my responsibility to change that. We all know that we need to raise our heart rate for at least one hour a day to the point of ‘puffing’ and I make it my challenge to do that. I check my calorie intake and keep it low and make sure my blood sugar levels are stable. I don’t eat between meals, I always eat (although can’t at the moment as the paint is drying on my table) sat at a table, which I laid as I respect myself enough to take time to eat properly. I get to bed early and make sure my evenings are quiet so I can switch my brain off before I go to bed. I limit alcohol and caffiene and make sure my main fluids are water. Sounds like a long list but improving my physical health has given me the greatest improvements in my well being.
I’ll add this again, I don’t suggest you do any of the things that I do, they are my choice and suit me. Your life, behaviour and choices are your own.
Now over to you. Who is going to do their best (which is all any of us can do) to make their own life better today? If you could change one thing that you do, that you know doesn’t do you any good, what would it be?
RIP Mr Williams and so many thanks for your creative genius.
Until tomorrow,
Love Froogs xxxx
great blog - thank you x I'm quietly following you and being inspired by your journey.
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Froogs you are an inspiration. I love reading your blog. I admire how you live your life and intend to encompass a good deal of your strategies into mine. Thank you x
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Now this is one powerful post - and the timing is PERfect.
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Love, life, liberty and laughter - these things are far more precious than money, status and power. Thanks for the post, Froogs. Like you I am saddened by the death of RW, who brought joy to so many, yet was beaten by his own inner demons. RIP one very funny, clever guy, may God comfort those who knew him and loved him best
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Well said!
Julie
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Wise words which make perfect sense. I think I will bookmark this particular post to reread when I have a 'low moment'. I felt so sad hearing about Robin Williams this morning - we still don't acknowledge the impact of mental health problems on so many of us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts x
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I think this may be my favourite of your posts to date. Wonderful, honest, well-thought out words. Read them back to yourself and be proud.
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I think I need to print these words out as a reminder. I try to do much of this daily - but it would be good to remind myself too. Thanks for sharing. x
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I am the woman who doesn't take care of herself. It is shocking and as I get older, it leads to trouble with teeth, pains everywhere etc. Your post is very à-propos as my daughter got cross with me this morning about that lack of self-preservation; it made me think that she did that because she loves me and is scared of losing me, not because she wants to interfere. Perfect post as always and a good lesson for all of us.
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Super post and gives us that reminder that we are responsible for our own happiness and well being. You have a wonderful talent for the written word. I'd love to see all this is some kind of self help book, I'm sure it would be a best seller as your posts are truly inspirational x
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I was gutted to hear of Robin Williams death this morning and he must have suffered terribly living with his mental health problems. Such a talented, funny, clever man. You said some very wise things Froogs and it's important for all of us to be happy being who we are, not try to live up to an image. Not everyone can like us but it's important that we learn to like ourselves x
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Beautiful post. The news of his death saddened me greatly this morning, a man so funny in the public eye to the point of add libbing in films, yet despairing in his mind. Whilst I pottered around the house I said prayers for him and his family and others that are struggling in whatever shape or form. Yes, simplicity is the key, a life of balance encompassing all areas is a precious gift indeed.
Now I am off to look after myself and watch a much promised film about tiny living!
San xx
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Robin Williams touched so many and it is amazing the impact his death is having and will have. I am hoping it opens up a much better dialogue regarding mental health, especially here in the States.
I really like how you think Froogs. Keeping up with the modern day Joneses is so detrimental in so many ways. Be it financially or physically, it can really mess with your head. I do my best to work out, but with a special needs animal and a toddler it is not always easy. The way I make up for doing an hour workout daily is by going on YouTube to their BeFit channel and doing ten minute intervals or the 13 minute standing ABS by Jessica Smith or Lean and Relax Yoga routines, by various teachers, which take anywhere from 10-15 minutes. I realized if I wanted to do it bad enough, I could carve out some time to get some sort of workout achieved. Heck, I did the standing abs in my kitchen one morning! It is amazing how much better one can feel doing a quick workout than doing none at all. I encourage everyone to take care of themselves because physical health does beget better mental health in some cases. We owe it to ourselves and those around us to be the best we can be. XO
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Thanks for your visit on my blog; I am thrilled to bits ! Put GTFC up there so you can join ! xx
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Your thoughts mirror mine exactly. Life is what we make it and it is up to us to do the best we can with that life. Living simply is my motto and it has served me well for many years. I do so enjoy reading your blog.
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Froogs, I have been on medication for clinical depression for nearly 7 years and it has given me back my life. Unfortunately, I had been depressed for 4-5 years before I got help. I also realize now I was depressed for about 3 years when my kids were small, but it corrected itself on its own. How much better all of our lives would have been if I had gotten help then! I had some talk therapy during that period and it didn't help at all…because what I had, and have now, is a chemical imbalance in my brain. I would encourage any reader who is living in a black hole right now to see their doctor. Life doesn't have to be like that. And for those of you that think antidepressants are happy pills-they are not. They just make you feel normal and allow you to function and make decisions like a normal person would. Although I have never been suicidal, many, many suicides are the result of depression. There IS a better way to live.
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Excellent points, Froogs. I figured out (slowly) that if I didn't take care of myself first, I couldn't take care of my family as well as I wanted to. Twice in my adult life, I've grappled with clinical depression. Each time it was anxiety induced depression, and there were hormonal imbalances present also, as well as the “stuff” of life. Not quite 6 years ago, I began de-cluttering… finances, foods we eat, our home, and more recently, spiritually. I had some medical procedures done to help with hormonal issues, paid off debts, shifted to home cooked from scratch (which saves money), started packing up unnecessary items throughout the house for donations or trash, and have become more finicky about what I watch on TV or read in the news. Since depression is often an imbalance of chemicals in the body/brain, I'm trying to take better physical care of me, too. Including mental health. I've been LOVING your posts about your DIY renovations! Thank you. 🙂
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Perfect post. Thank you.
And indeed RIP Mr Williams, because clearly he wasn't at peace in this world, very sadly.
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What an inspirational post, I know I will re read this and continue to think about how I live and why. Simple daily pleasures are what makes life feel good most of the time; sitting looking out of my kitchen window watching the colours change on the a Lancashire hills, radio 4, a good book (Elizabeth Jane Howard's Love All at the moment), fresh coffee, a whippet snuggled on my lap…..and great blogs like this one.
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Well, I`m with you all the way there. I`ve made some choices too. I`ve decided to reduce my work load to just 22hrs paid work per week as I suffer from tennis elbow. Working myself into the ground and into constant pain is not something I want, so the hours were cut to benefit my health. I`ve also struggled with weight and have been eating less, eating more healthily since June and have now lost a whole stone in weight, feel fitter and more active again. Healthy eating shall continue and if I can shed some more weight with it, I shall be a happy bunny. I cycle to and from work three days a week and some days even cycle to the shops and back, so I have exercise as well. I do my best thinking and planning when I cycle. DB has been redundant since April 2013 and not in good health. Doctors are still trying to establish the causes for bodily aches and pains, Bells Paulsy he had suffered a few weeks back and some numbness of certain toes. Watching his health deteriorate makes me even more determined to look after my health much better, trying to persuade him also to look after what`s left of his. Mental health issues can have bad effects on your physical wellbeing, too. So, I agree with you on the idea of thinking positive and not letting the negativity override good thoughts.
Having scaled down my work load lets me also look after my grandchild, so I do get an awful lot of pleasure from seeing her thrive. We might not have much in financial security but we can still pay the rent, electric and gas, so have a roof over our heads, can make frugal and delicious meals that also make us feel better.
We don`t have luxury items in our home, love each others company, have good friends that live similar lives to ours and can relate to us well, don`t drink and don`t smoke, so don`t waste money on those addictions, live simple and enjoy being at home. What else do we need? Not a darn thing!!!
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WOW ! Just WOW ! Maybe run some lessons about dharma next term Froogs? 🙂
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A wonderful post and very thought provoking. Very sad news this morning. Nanoo nanoo Robin.x
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Robin Williams had an impact on me through Dead Poets' Society. I love how he encouraged the boys to live life; to seize the day, to suck the marrow from life. He told them to experience. to feel and to do. I didn't see them spending loads of money, so I don't see the need to spend loads to Carpe Diem myself. I know he was acting and saying somebody else's words, but I believe them to be good words. I do what suits me, not what the world (or at least the Big Business part of it) think I ought to do.
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Your blog is so inspiring and it has helped me to make some big changes to my life in recent months. I have: got a full-time job, that I can manage alongside the children; paid off one credit card and made a big dent in the outstanding balance of another; entered a half marathon and stopped feeling so down. Your advice has actually helped to lift me from a long depression that I have been wallowing in for a few years. Thank you. x
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What a beautiful and profound post. I echo your sentiments and shed more than a tear for Mr Williams.
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Beautiful post, Froogs. You're reminder about self-care is a timely one, and I do believe that taking care of our mental health can have a profound positive repercussions for our physical health too. I try to put 'have fun' on my to-do list as often as possible, and usually it doesn't have to cost a thing 🙂
Madeleine.x
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Love this post and admire your strong sense of self.
When I turned 40 2 years ago I realised I'd put a huge amount of effort into getting certain people to like me so it'd make certain situations easier…what a waste of time that was. Now I think if you don't like me you can hop in line behind the others who don't while I get on with spending time and energy on those I love.
Our lives are very different but I too do stuff that I love and that's important to me. If I'm happy I do my best work. I see happiness as a personal responsibility too and don't expect anyone else to furnish this part of my journey. Not my partner, not my child.
I admire how you don't worry about money. How many of us can say that?
Keep up the good blog postings x
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I think you have a prophetic message for our time, Froogs, and much of what you say resonates with me. In the past week I have been to the theatre twice. The first time it was an outdoor performance with my daughter. We shared a lovely picnic but the rain poured down during the play and we had to abandon it and rush home soaking wet! The second time, tonight, my sister-in-law treated 6 of us to a night out at a musical and neither she nor I enjoyed it. A waste of time and money, not to mention the cost of drinks bought before the show and during the interval (even though the rest of the family had a good time). Both times, I would have been better off just not going - financially and from the point of view of peace of mind and time. I will certainly think twice before cluttering my life up again with pointless activities. I would much rather enjoy the company of friends and family at home.
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Brava Froogs! Very well said!
~ Pru
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Froogs this may be one of your best posts ever! What great advice and as usual, such an inspiration. I too am working really hard on making a simple life free of stress and a life where I am doing something which I love! I also want to spend more time with people I love and not fill my life with frivolous activities which do not add to my life in any way. I agree with Faux Fuschia's comment too…as I get older I care less and less what other people think of me or whether they like me and more about whether I like them and want them in my life. It's been liberating I can tell you!! Thanks once again for a wonderful read….
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Brilliant post. Our health is the most precious thing we have. Our bodies are amazing and should not be neglected. I have learned to like myself and that does wonders for your spiritual well being. 🙂
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This is a fantastic post Froogs. Just what I needed. Thank you.
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Great post! I agree with you about looking after your health. Where are we without that?
I also like order, although I struggle to keep it as I live in a house full of untidy people!! I focus on the simple things. Today I am off work and have taken great pleasure in doing small jobs around the house and washing the car. It doesn't take that much to make me happy.
However, two of my daughters suffer depression so I know what that is like too. RIP Robin Williams. A fantastic actor.
Jane
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Great blog. You've taken the words out of my mouth, or rather, out of my mind because I probably wouldn't have spoken of this to anyone, thank you!
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I really enjoyed this post, you spoke some truths and i'm sure this post will help a lot of people out there.
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The depth of your insight is very refreshing 🙂
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