Hello Dear Reader,
I had the very great pleasure of meeting Natalie Gavern, the Truro centre manager, from Christians Against Poverty. She came into Radio Cornwall to join the discussion with myself and Tracy Wilson about managing debt. I also had the honour of meeting a lovely young man called Craig who is currently working with CAP to repay debts. It was humbling to hear just how big a difference it made when someone supported him with paperwork, had time to listen and helped him cope with creditors as well as helping him set a budget and live within his means.
To hear this wonderful discussion and humbling example of the devastating effects of debts, then click HERE to listen to the radio programme. Move the cursor to the last hour and we’re on straight after the news.
For anyone who may be affected by issues raised in the radio programme today. Please call Christians Against Poverty on 0800 328 0006 from a land line. If you only have a mobile, please call 03335 558800 - it will then give you the link to call the free phone number above and you will not be charged for the call.
Craig, as an ordinary young man, had lost his job and was unable to pay debts. He openly said how hard it was to see everyone around with good clothes, a car, their own flat, holidays and nights out. It made me think of how much we think people have. They seem to have so much and yet the likelihood it’s all being paid for with credit. That in turn made me ask the question; how much is enough?
I know I’m preaching to the choir here but I’m always aware that someone might be reading for the very first time. I’ll repeat what I said on the radio. It’s ok to make do with less. It’s ok to buy what you need from charity shops and car boot sales. It’s ok to collect pallets from the industrial estate to break up for firewood and kindling, it’s ok to upcycle, to use freecycle and to barter, haggle and get by with a lot less. It’s ok to make quilts from shirts bought on the £1 bargain rail from the local Woodside Animal Shelter shop.
To anyone who has decided to make a real change in your life, feel free to never again have to have a catalogue delivered to your house. Feel free to cook everything at home and never order a takeaway again. Next week, find one day where you don’t carry money and don’t spend anything. In our thrifty world, we call that a ‘non-spend day’. Build them up so you can eat from the freezer and store cupboards and stretch your shopping so you only have to go once a fortnight.
It’s also ok to have less than other people. I’m acutely aware that my car is aging fast, that my clothes are certainly neither fashionable or stylish. I’m fine that I don’t have a shoe, handbag or nail varnish collection. I’m ok with what I have and what I don’t have.
Listening to Craig today reminded me of the crippling insecurities that some people feel when they can’t keep up with the Jones family. It is hard. We lost friends along the way when we didn’t want to live our old life and gained new ones too. My message to Craig and anyone else who is young and feeling as if you must get swept along with the crowd is to believe in who you are and what you want to be. Take any job, any changes and any chances. Listen to reason and common sense and a lot less to trends and advertisements. If someone doesn’t like the fact that you are working in a bacon factory, meat processing plant or cleaning caravans then just remember you are working for you and not them! Build your self up from the ground and start again. If you fall over ten times then get back up eleven times. But most of all, remember this…………some is plenty!
Until tomorrow
Love Froogs
Some is plenty and enough is too much
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I never thought of it like that before , if people seem to have a lot of everything its probably on credit , the friends you or anyone lose when you take control of your own life and live with less not more are not true fiends, We have more ,We have more than a lot of people , food on out table ,,living on simple home cooked foods a roof over our head, being warm and comfortable in our home created with carboot, charity shop and jumble sale finds and up cycling things we already have , i would not live any other way any more, we get so much pleasure from living this way, even more than when we lived on credit xxx.
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Hi Froogs, you speak so many wise words, a real inspiration .. myself and my OH are fortunate in the fact that we have never been in debt, never owed money, but have struggled to make ends meet on many an occasion, we both work, my OH a little more than me, both classed as part time, but still receive no benefit help, we work, pay our rent, whats left we save, shop for food, I make, bake, freeze and sell to make extra money..i feel very rich, we have a home, food, family, animals and love to keep us going, if anyone is reading your blog for the first time searching the internet because they feel so desperate in their situation, I am sure that they would feel very rich themselves by taking your many many wise words of advice.. much love AFM xx
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Hi Froogs,
Many a time when my kids were younger they would comment on what other people had, things I certainly couldn't afford, and I would say that those people are probably up to their eyeballs in debt. Of course, there are some people who are good savers, who manage to have the new cars, holidays etc, but I imagine they are relatively rare.
As Rhonda once said over at the down—to—earth blog, happiness is a homemade commodity, not on sale at any store. And yes, it IS okay to cook all of your own food and shop at thrift stores - these days it's green and practically trendy 🙂
Have a wonderful day,
Madeleine.X
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It took years for us to stop comparing ourselves to the 'Jones' but now we have finally stopped doing this it has left us with a wonderful feeling of contentment. So if any of your readers think they will never be free of comparing themselves with the 'Jones', please keep trying and eventually it will happen to you too and it will really be worth the effort.
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Reveal friends don't care and those that care well they don't matter. I know it cliche but its true. You have to do what is best for you and your family. All the rest is just window dressing.
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I don't need lots of things, as long as I have my crafting I'm happy. I have got so adept at buying yellow stickered food that it almost hurts now to buy normal priced food.
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Loving this quilt - and am so incredibly envious of your source of £1 shirts - Taunton charity shops charge at least a fiver - I've picked brand new ones up in Asda on the sale rack for less - charity shops are getting greedy I think
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Entirely true and very well said. We sit on a 15 year old sofa and chairs, and don't mind the old holes that are beginning to wear in it - we just cover them up with throws. My uncle has just recently brought me some “new” dining chairs that he has been storing for my dad - and my mum bought them second hand before I was born [I'm 41 now] so they are pretty well used, but they bring back so many memories of my childhood that I am delighted to have them back in my life again. We live a fairly comfortable frugal life, and it means that I can afford to do voluntary work and sponsor a child and make donations because my “enough” is a heck of a lot more than so many people have in this world.
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Doesn't it just
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First off, gorgeous quilt blocks!
I have to say I have never been bothered by clothes or
impressed by cars or houses….my clothes are old but clean,
we eat good, homemade meals, and my car will probably have over 200, 000 miles when I get another (used) one….I have my animals, my home, gardens,my friends and family. Doesn't get any better….
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Everyone will have their own version of enough but it is true. Our enough is more than plenty in many societies. Some will have an expensive exterior (i.e. house, clothing etc) but may well live on rice and sleep on the floor in the rooms that are not on public view. This is especially true in some cultures around where I live. Set your limits and ideas and live authentically. Being true to you is important and probably the best for your self esteem.
In my area it is becoming almost dangerous to chase mark down foods and other essentials. The competition is fierce. So others must be in a similar boat too.
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Oh so true. Just reading the book Walden on Wheels, it verifies everything we frugal people believe.
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Well said Froogs! I will just add that it is very hard to get to the point where you don't care what “others” think. That's okay. Just keep picking yourself up and trying. In today's world Western society values stuff. But stuff doesn't make us who we are. It is up to everyone to define what normal is for themselves and their families. Cooking at home, having a staycation, making sure the bills get paid on time and the extras get saved - there is a lot of us out there online that feel that is normal and it works just fine for us.
~ Pru
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Good advice, Froogs - as usually. It is too easy to get caught up with trying to please everyone when what we should be doing is pleasing ourselves.
I wish Craig well on his journey. He is so going to learn so much about himself and make a whole new network of friends who will be valuing him for being Craig, and not Mr 20 pounds an hour.
BTW, nice patchworking there!
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Pru, well said.
I'm not a big fan of travelling. My goal is one day to travel with my husband to see all those places where my forebears used to live. But, I find it hard to be motivated to Go Away. It was bad enough when our niece got married. At least my husband is fantastic at finding excellent deals for accommodation. We had a cheap weekend. But I'm finding it so easy to not go anywhere. You can get so much done around the house! The money spent on fuel and caravan parks will probably cover the cost of paint and new rollers n stuff to renovate a room. Staycation. Way to go (nowhere!).
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Amen to that froogs. I know people that are always going out all the Time for expensive mEals. I Could cook two weeks of dinners for what they Pay for One Person when they go out. I agree.some is definately plenty.
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Amen to that froogs. I know people that are always going out all the Time for expensive mEals. I Could cook two weeks of dinners for what they Pay for One Person when they go out. I agree.some is definately plenty.
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I think that keeping up with the Joneses is what has landed a lot of people in financial trouble. We also lost 'friends' along our debt clearing journey but, I realise now, that the good friends stuck around and respected what we were doing. I actually feel far more satisfied with the simpler things in life since we started living frugally. We shouldn't feel under pressure to spend to impress others or to fit in (and sadly I've heard of people spending a fortune on their children so that they will fit in by having the 'right' gadgets and clothes etc or they will be bullied). Isn't it terrible that this is how we feel we are judged and accepted these days, instead of being liked for just being a decent human being? I've toughened up a lot since starting to clear the debt and decided that I'm going to be who I am and if people don't like it, then too bad!
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First of all, I love your quilts! I grew up quilting and here in Western NC, quilting is considered a high form of art and good quilts can sell for a lot of money. I know you love to quilt for quilting sake but you might want to try to market them! Just sayin…..
Anyway, I quit caring a long time ago about keeping up with the Jones because when you really take a good look at those people they are not very happy. They are in debt up to their eyeballs and have become “wage slaves” to keep that lifestyle up. They live to work instead o working to live.
My husband and I live simply but abundantly. We have a farm. We have livestock and grow a lot of our own food. I garden, can, and freeze. We make do, recycle and repurpose. I find living simply and frugally very satisfying. Life takes on a new meaning when you no longer lay awake at night worrying about how you are going to pay the bills!
Thanks again Froogs for all that you do to encourage us all and to help others!
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You may have uncovered the root of materialism in your post. A small example to frugal living is: My friend bought 2 large pumpkins for her porch for Halloween. She was going to pitch them in the trash. Instead, I took them. I have gotten 8 2 cup bags of puree from them and 1 quart jar of dried pumpkin powder from them. That is 16 loaves of bread and 3 pies that she was going to pitch in the trash. Not to mention the seeds that I seasoned and baked. I felt so good providing the basics for myself and my adult children's families. Not to mention the health benefits of the food.
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Very wise words, Jane. If only more folks would live by this wisdom-it would change everything for the better. NOTHING feels as good as being a good steward of God's gifts-knowing that you can be smart with your money and generous to others at the same time. Priceless!
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I agree with you. common sense seems to disappear as advertisers invade our minds.. I always managed like that= if I can get something that is not absolutely necessary without using a credit card, I buy it. if not, I wait until I have enough.And I don't matter about fashion or advertising. I'm quite proud of my sons because -for the moment- they seem to understand and don't ask for up to date fashion clothes or shoes.
what is important and enough for me? a house to protect my family; functionnal and warm clothes; enough to eat well (home cooked almost all the time), and enough to face health issues. If i have more, it's ok. if not, it's ok too..
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Well said! In a world of Facebook, pinterest, instagram etc it's easy to think everyone is happier, better and has more/nicer things than you online as well as in the 'real' world.
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Have just discovered the joys of regular charity shopping. Got £15 for my baby daughters birthday and decided to spend it all in charity shops only. Got an M&S dress for £1.50 (looks new to me), Baby Gap dress £1.50 (new with tags), Elvis vest (£2)….. and we've still got plenty leftover to spend!
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I know this is an old post but I wanted to comment. We are at the start of our budeting life and working to pay off our debts. I was shocked and very ashamed to see that I was spending over £700 each month on my credit card. I genuinely have no idea what on? I have nothing to show for it all, (and that is just my card, my boyfriend was doing the same) we were just going with the flow and keeping up with friends. Now I have set a budget I feel so much better, like a weight has lifted. As we have no kids and have a mortgage I know if one of us were to lose our job we would get no help from benefits, we would end up not being able to afford our bills and possibly lose our house, I don’t want to work until I am 90, I want to afford to retire young when I can enjoy it so now I am cutting that wasteful monthly spend and throwing everything I can to clear my debts. After that will be the mortgage. I already know how to cook and food planning and batch cooking was always one thing I have always done. I also know how to crochet and sew and I am looking forward to using and improving my skills to better our lives. You get so much more pleasure from making something and cherish it more than anything I could buy from a shop. This is how I found your blog and I have been binge reading it since I came across it.
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Thanks so much for your comment, you will get there xxx
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