Hello Dear Reader,
Over the last five years of my life, I have done more to change my life for the better than I’ve ever done before. Previously, I thought I was doing OK but actually I was just shuffling along quietly. Now, I look at every way I can improve my life. If something isn’t working then I literally bin it! I’ve not the time, energy or desire to do anything any more that doesn’t enhance my life. I’m acutely aware at 48 years old that I’ve lived longer than I’m going to live. I’ve no time to procrastinate and now is the time to get things done.
I put off getting fit for years and year and now, it’s part of my everyday life and there’s no stopping me. It’s proven that successful people do more exercise, eat more healthily, read more, move more, focus on achieving goals, volunteer more often and watch less TV. No one is ever going to achieve much in life sat on a sofa! If you’re looking for tough love then you’ve come to the right place!
This may or may not be popular but I abhor laziness. I find great happiness in ‘getting it done’. I like to start my day at five thirty every morning so I can leave for work with a clean and tidy house, the laundry put away, dinner made and the bed turned down. I like to wash and blow dry my hair every morning and leave the house looking my best in pressed clothes and with my makeup on. I get great pleasure in coming home and working on a quilt, recipe plans or writing projects. A good day is one that leaves me exhausted but feeling smug in the knowledge that I leave others standing.
I take the same philosophy into the gym. I’m there to sweat, work hard and there is nothing better than leaving aching. I no longer have my trainer (he went off to join the Met) but as he would say, you know you’re working hard when you’re blowing out of your arse! No one ever lost weight, improved their health, reduced their BMI or wore considerably smaller clothes by just chatting to the person next to them on a static bike whilst updating Facebook!
We now know that it’s our good habits that create our financial stability. We now know that our choices cause the results of comfortable living. Luck has nothing to do with it and we’ve worked our way to where we are. None of it happened by sitting on the sofa. It happened because we were prepared to get our hands dirty.
This is my challenge to you Dear Reader. Ask yourself, what is holding you back? Why are you not earning more so you save or pay off debts? Why do you clear your debts only to create more? Why are you waking up at the last minute and getting to work in a rush? Why do you have no time for your family? Why is your house disorganised or cluttered? Why do you watch so much TV? Why are you promising to exercise and then you never do? If the reason is you: can’t be bothered to do two jobs, can’t be organised enough, can’t be motivated enough……….then you and you alone are the reason that you are not making the changes that will move your life forward.
Over to you Dear Reader, leave a comment in the confessional and literally leave it there and walk away! Walk away from what ever is holding you back and move forward with your life. It’s time to stop doing what ever is holding you back.
As ever, I look forward to hearing from you.
See you tomorrow,
Love Froogs xxxxxxxxxxxxx
If you haven’t yet, please vote for http://www.frugalqueen.co.uk for: Blog of the year, Best thrifty blog and best food blog. If you have……………….thanks lovely reader xxxx Click on the link below xx
I've been following you for some time now and I'm really struck by how (deservedly) more comfortable your life is now than when you were head down and clearing debts. Back then you only had a shower a few times a week and did a strip wash the rest of the time. Now you can do your hair every morning and know that you have earned it. You don't have to suffer with joint pain through inadequate heating in winter. Your choices have, as you say, had the result of comfortable living
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Confession time: it isn't the TV that uses up my hours, it's my laptop. Living alone in a quiet, rural area I investigated forums and blogs to provide some way of socialising. From these, I have found many like-minded people of all ages and backgrounds and I've met up with quite a few of them when they have come to Cornwall for holidays. I enjoy chatting to these friends online, swapping recipes, sharing our day to day 'doings'. etc. But I open the laptop to see who's around and what has been written while I drink my first cuppa of the day, then add my posts, then see who has commented, then add another post, then . . . . . you get my drift. Sometimes it gets so late in the day that it just isn't worth getting dressed; I shower and wash hair, etc, but why bother getting out of my dressing gown when I don't have any plans for going out, especially if the weather is bad. I know this is a bad routine to get into but I'm finding it hard to leave those friends without any comment from me while I make the effort to go out. I'm having too many 'dressing gown' days. Help!!!!
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Hi,
it is so easy to get stuck to the screen, especially when you're isolated. When I realised I was spending more time than I liked on the net I made some 'rules' for myself. Certain tasks need to be done BEFORE the computer goes on - showering, dressing, school lunches, exercise, washing on line, tidying etc… IF there is any time left after all of that, I can read my favourite blogs. If there isn't time, it is left until after work,dinner cleanup, kids homework etc…
For me, staying in my dressing gown on the weekend, no matter how cosy, seems to sap my energy and ensure that nothing gets done. Hope this helps 🙂
Madeleine
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I smoke and I hate it!
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Another thought provoking post, thank you Froogs. I have to admit I'm one of those people who clear debt only to create more, although an earlier post you wrote helped me to see why. I'm also a person who has lost weight several times only to put it back on again……think there might be a theme running through my life here!!!!!
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I feel stuck at the moment and don't know how to change things. In the past I have been very proactive in obtaining my goals. I exercised every day whilst working and studying full-time to improve the future for myself and my children. I had saving and was building a deposit nest egg to enable me to buy a home of my own. Then 5 years ago I met my ex partner and have felt that for the past 5 years I have been struggling to support him in an emotional and practical sense as he had depression and PTSD. Over this time I struggled financially as though he work his money was eaten up by paying debts and no matter how frugal I tried to be I could never make ends meet and so all my saving have gone. Also during this relationship I was also diagnosed with M.E which has changed my life completely, as like yourself I'm normally a very active and focused go getter and I still haven't figure out how manage my illness in a way that enables me to achieve my future goals.
My partner and I separated earlier this year as we both realised that caring for him was impacting on my health and so I have had to reevaluate my plans and what I want out of the future. Before Christmas I bought a house with help from my parents and therefore now owe them a large sum of money that I want to pay off asap as well as trying to reduce my mortgage. Also I need to save up to enable me to undertake some renovation work on the house as the roof needs doing and the boiler needs replacing.
I am completing a degree in Social work to enable me to progress in work which will mean a pay rise although until then I am struggling to come up with ways that will increase my income as my work hours are changeable with out notice and as well as this my illness fluctuates in severity day to day. So I need to figure out how to stretch the income I already have. I try and cook from scratch and menu plan but also I have some ready meal in the freezer on standby for the night that I'm working late or to ill to cook as I'm realistic that without these I would be reaching for the take away menu but would love it if you could offer me some other ideas on how to stretch my pennies
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Your high standards are infectious! What time do you go to bed?
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Your high standards are infectious! Love it. What time do you sleep if you get upat 5:30?
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I wish I was an early bird. Naturally I am not and caring for my father has me up and down at all hours. So I try to limit my time online and at the end of each day I try to load the washing machine and set it to go early in the morning. In summer I often hang washing late in the day and take it down before the Queensland sun is too hot and I burn. This is not possible in all climates I know. I now keep lists for the grocery store, dad's helpers and for myself. I also prefer to go to bed early but that doesn't happen much and I have learned to change in a flash as it seems every time I settle I need to drive somewhere. I often lay out clothes, keys and purse within easy reach so this is a no brainer. I sometimes shower in the evening because I know the next morning will be very busy. Meals are a constant struggle over allergies, likes, dislikes and contrariness so I struggle with those. Slowly but surely I should get there and I thank you for the inspiration you share.
PS I am also naturally a lazy soul who loves to read!
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Can you take a lodger in just for 12 months as this would greatly help. Re your ME - I have a friend who could'nt even leave the house because of her ME. She contacted the Braithwaite Clinic who did all kinds of tests. They found an old virus which antibiotics hadn't totally cleared up and they also found that her body wasn't digesting food quick enough. She was then put on new medication which has practically cured her ME she's been free of it for four yrs now. It cost her about £2000 for this which I know is impossible for you at the present but maybe a thought for the future
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Can you take a lodger in just for 12 months as this would greatly help. Re your ME - I have a friend who could'nt even leave the house because of her ME. She contacted the Braithwaite Clinic who did all kinds of tests. They found an old virus which antibiotics hadn't totally cleared up and they also found that her body wasn't digesting food quick enough. She was then put on new medication which has practically cured her ME she's been free of it for four yrs now. It cost her about £2000 for this which I know is impossible for you at the present but maybe a thought for the future
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I'm felling a bit stuck at the moment. I need to find a job! I have been sending out my carefully honed CV, together with various lovingly crafted cover letters, for them to disappear into the ether. I love being busy, but that's harder now that 'studying' has been replaced by 'apply for the 3 or 4 jobs a week that I am qualified for, but have no relevant experience to demonstrate my ability'. I know everyone has to go through this stage, but it's a bit of a let down after the satisfaction of learning and passing exams. From everything being in my control it seems like it's all dependent on others now.
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Hi Froogs,
This post hit me right between the eyes! I had everything under control until the end of October when my sister became very ill and then died. I took my eye of the ball and everything spiralled downward and fast. Today, before reading this post have spent nearly an hour on the phone to Stepchange and my water company and set up a plan to get back on track. Like a fellow poster I am limited to what hours I can work due to suffering from long term M.E. I can't take a lodger due to living in a housing association house, and ways of stretching my income are very limited. Determined to get more out of life I have started an Access course with a view to doing a degree and increasing my future earning potential. Later today I am going to go through all the paperwork that I have ignored, plan some menus ,re start my spending diary and basically go back to the start and the basics. It's hard but with support from people like yourself I can and will do this! The old saying about falling off the bike and getting straight back on seems very apt. Thank you for this post.
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I had ME for many years and despaired of ever getting well. I think that what changed things for me was reading this book:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Bristol-Programme-Penny-Brohn/dp/071261513X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1394109121&sr=8-5&keywords=penny+brohn
I followed the advice in there and rested as much as I could.
With hindsight I think a large contributing cause to my illness was 'emotional overload' resulting from living with an emotionally abusive partner and aso the fact that I burned the candle at both ends - I just didn't know when to stop and didn't get enough sleep.
I wish you well, and hope that things improve for you soon. xx
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Have you thought of volunteering alongside your job search? If you can find the right opportunities, you can develop new skills and also demonstrate to an employer that you look for a new challenge, are keen to be involved in something other than a job search, have commitment and other qualities as well, depending on the volunteering situation.
Before I retired I was involved in recruitment, and when looking at the piles and piles of CVs and applications I was always looking for the applicant's USP - what makes this person stand out to me from all the others. The ones that I remember include someone who qualified as a diving instructor in her spare time, someone who had started a small business while waiting for a job, someone who volunteered with a gardening project. These people showed drive and initiative which I valued. Just a thought 🙂
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could you volunteer, contract or temp in a relevant field? I know when I'm looking at new hirees CVs then I very strongly take all that stuff into consideration.
Some companies may also be able to take you on for a couple of days or weeks “internship” (check how that affects any money you may be receiving) - use that time to make contacts and add them to your linked in.
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Dear Froogs,
Another inspiring post!
You mention your personal trainer. I am thinking of signing up with one at the gym, However, I would welcome your advice on getting the most from a trainer. How did you organize things and what did you expect? I can't imagine being “shadowed” by a trainer but I imagine that they point out worthwhile changes. I expect they give some motivation and if you have a session organized you can't sit on the sofa as you say!
You clearly found your trainer to be very helpful but now are managing without. What did you take from it which means that you no longer need the trainer.
Many thanks.
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I had a trainer for a year. I like exercise but had no idea what I was doing. He was directly employed by my gym and I stayed with him as a customer when he moved to another job. His job, under my direction was to make me leaner and toned. I'm also stronger and fitter and with greater confidence in what my body can do. I took the ability to discipline myself. Humans need to run, to lift, to get out of breath and for their hearts to pound for 30 minutes a day five days a week. I learned that I can 'put myself in the bin' and really work myself hard. If I squat 25 kg on 3 reps of 15, then I will then go onto to do the same with 40kg but 'bang out' six killer squats for deep muscle work. I learned about fitness and how to work effectively. You could do that in less sessions that I did but I work best under pressure and when up against the wall.
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what do you want to do? there are plenty of entry level jobs out there - go to the supermarket websites, go to agencies - I'm a great believer in doing any job what so ever - I promise I would shovel **** if I needed to make a living.
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Do you want to stay that way? Do you want you life to be better and to achieve more?
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I'm in bed shortly after nine and asleep by ten at the latest.
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How many hours are you at college or on placement?
How many evenings are you not working? - get an evening job
No college at the weekends - get a weekend job.
Spare rooms - fill them with students or trainee social workers, advertise on rent a room websites.
See your unwanted items
Walk where ever you need to go - briskly until you puff
ME will affect your mental health too - look after it - do some research on ways you can use CBT methods to put some positivity back in your life - e.g helping others by volunteering, taking regular exercise - a walk will do.
Love Froogs xxxx - sorry to be harsh but no one is going to do it for you lovvie xx
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Look up addiction support in your area - get to the GP and get nicotine replacement on prescription - look at photos of infected lungs and pictures of throat cancer - no one can do it for you but if you don't want to do it the soddin' well stop it………….it doesn't make you happy xxxx
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Make rules for yourself - don't ever go down stairs without showering, cleaning your teeth ect - who wants to be a slattern slumped in a dressing gown eating in front of the TV? Set yourself a time table. No one is going to do it for you but you are not enhancing your life by not taking care of yourself - you deserve better xxxxx
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Thanks Mary - now my mortgage has halved, we are comfortable - it was worth the short term sacrifice xxxx My joint pain has been so much less since we can afford to be warmer xx
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Suze, I do feel for you - sometimes our duties toward family can severely impact our own lives. Is there any respite care available from your government or health authorities that could give you a few hours to yourself now and then?
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Here in the US, CVs are often screened by computer first-if they don't have the correct catch phrases, they don't get passed on for review by an actual human. As a result, personal relationships are more important than ever for many jobs.
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Weight is an issue and for many of us it is not just a simple maths of eat less, move more. Particularly if you yo-yo dieted you are putting your health in more risk then if you stayed the stable weight (even obese) all that time. Your body also by now became much smarter in holding onto every calorie. Your best bet is to focus on health not weight.
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Volunteering is not only for putting something on your CV but also quite often it can become a job! I myself volunteered for 6 months in a company I wanted to work for, whilst also getting all the necessary training for free. I got a part time job at first which after another 6 months became a full time one. this will also keep possible depression at bay, as getting all the refusals can be very demoralising. Good luck.
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What an inspiration ! I am a hard worker and not at all lazy, I dont watch much tv, work full time and craft in the evenings but have found myself in the doldrums lately, feeling a little 'woe is me” I read your post and said to myself my own happiness and my own fate is sat there in my own two hands, thankyou for the kick up the arse, the best thing about your blog is your good natured honesty, love you for that, keep doing what you do ( by the way tried your sweet and sour recipe tonight - delish !!!) Have a lovely weekend xxx
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Thanks for this post, it crystallised many things I am thinking about at the moment. I am particularly interested in how you balance teaching (I think that is what you do? Sorry if I have misunderstood) and the rest of your life. I love lots of things about teaching but find it can drain my energy and time. Any thoughts on how to draw boundaries between work and home would be very welcome!
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Hi Liz - if you want a personal discussion, feel free to email me - link at the top
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Inspiring post! I have been struggling with getting the results I want from my workouts although I am definitely stronger than when I started. Your story inspired me to put together a 6 day a week plan that will greatly increase my aerobic exercise as well as strength training.
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Very inspiring post. I have been thinking about my own routine and that I seem to blame my lack of exercise opportunity on the fact that I home educate my three children. But I too am early to bed and early to rise, and although I am restricted to get up and about until my youngest son wakes up, usually around 7am (he has a medical condition and sleeps in our room and I cannot leave him on his own at the moment) I could quite easily exercise between 5-7am. Just have to be motivated and strict with myself. You are very right, nothing is achieved by sitting on the sofa all day, or in my case, staying in bed for two hours blog hopping and social networking! Thanks for the kick up the backside x
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I would like to lose weight ans make just 1 quilt 🙂
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