Hello Dear Reader,
I've surfaced after a migraine that felt as if I was being strangled, my arm was being ripped off and someone as squeezing my left eye ball! On the plus side, I slept for seventeen hours solid. In that time I didn't eat, haven't eaten yet so that's great for weight loss.
I was thinking about one Dear Reader's response to their time living in Cornwall, which wasn't positive for them. I like that person have had episodes of depression, of difficult times and sorrow and loss. No one person's feelings, emotions or attitudes can ever be compared as they are unique to them.
The last time I was ill, I decided that it was truly going to be the last time. I rejected medication (sick and tired of the numbness) and decided to work on being happy. It's all a bit fluffy round the edges but I practise and work on mindfulness. I work on gratitude and appreciate what I have. I celebrate the love and happiness that I have and I get excited by: the seasonal flowers, food- I did a little dance when I saw Cornish strawberries in the local shops. I'm excited to be off to spend a few precious hours with a family member. I've celebrated being home with DB this week.
Before some one mentions it, I don't suggest anyone else lives the way I live or have any answers for anyone else. Today, inspite of feeling horrid for several hours, I'm bursting with happiness today and most days because I choose to be so. I suggest the person who sent me four accusative messages re-reads this paragraph, everything I've written is an I message and about me, especially when I've had bouts of depression and chose to have NHS mindfulness therapy instead. It continues to work for me.
I truly believe that where you live had nothing to do with happiness, I'm happy because I am.
Until tomorrow,
Love Froogs xxxx
I was just having this conversation with a friend this morning. She is going through a sad time yet busying herself with chores that reward her. I think life gives us experiences and the lucky amongst us can be positive and proactive. Even when it's not possible to be like that all the time I do know that I have the ability to brush myself off after a blip. Honestly? I'm up and down all the time but I like to think that that's because I work at being up quite often ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that by most people's standards, I live a very simple, unexciting life. But it's a life I am truly grateful for, and it's more than I ever dreamed I'd have in my younger years. I love living in a rural area with lots of space and clean air, and the beach not too far away. I have a very loving, supportive husband and a terrific son. I love our home with all our oddly matched bits and bobs which we've collected along the way. We enjoy plenty of good food, are warm and have a roof over our head, and no debt these days. Life is good. Hope your migraines don't bother you too much. They're not nice.
ReplyDeleteI visited an elderly lady in hospital this morning. I know she is missing her home and she has just found out that she isn't fit enough to return to living independently. She's had a challenging life but I've never once heard her complain about it. The smile on her face this morning when she saw me, made me happy too. We sat in the hospital garden in the sunshine for a while and she just appreciated being out in the fresh air and having a visitor x
Just what I needed to read today and wise words as always. I have read your blog everyday since the early part of your journey and always find something to inspire and spur me on, keep up the good work you are a help to so many I'm sure. Maybe my first ever comment but I am a long time lurker. Hope you feel better and enjoy your weekend.
ReplyDeleteHello Froogs, I am happy because I read your blog. I have depression but you always make me smile. Please keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more Froogs. I have been happy and depressed all over the world, sometimes at the same time and in the same place! Lol
ReplyDeleteGeography has nothing to do with it for me, it is inside my mind.
I am happy with my life but still there is a dark cloud, however, like you, with remaining mindful, grateful and trying to stay in the moment (rather than worry about the future or ruminate on the past) I know that it will lift even if nothing else actually changes.
My mantra - don't believe everything you think!
Have a great weekend, you are an inspiration and your blog is one of the many things I am grateful for!! Jx
That's a weird Mantra! Might use it actually, I have bad anxiety and panicky things when premestrual, I struggle breathing and my mind goes to the DARKEST place..it's so weird. So a weird mantra might just be the right thing!!
DeleteI sometimes tell my head to be quiet, I meditate whilst walking or distracting myself from myself and tell myself moment by moment, listen to that bird, look at those ponies, stroke that cat, talk to that neighbour, call that friend and make myself mindful of the loveliness of my life.
DeleteThank you ladies! Your replies have made my day :). Good, you are very welcome to share my weird mantra, it makes me smile and really resonates with me (and the other voices in my head!). Froogs, yes indeed, sometimes I look around and can't believe how lucky I am to have created the good things in my life. Sad that the negative is more powerful than the positive but everything worth having is worth working for and I believe that applies to happiness too. Live would be boring if it were easy! Jx
DeleteI have to agree that happiness seems to be more about how you feel about yourself than the surroundings. I've always made a concerted effort to look on the bright side, and that helps enormously. We have lived in Oregon, California, New York and Idaho. The only place where we were unhappy was New York, and as I look back, that unhappiness had more to do with US than our location. We moved back home to Oregon after 8 months. I believe we were happier in Oregon--we both had more support from friends and family. BTW, most of the unhappiness was caused by my husband's alcoholism. He was an active alcoholic for 15 years and has been sober for 27 years. I am very proud of him. We left Oregon again 25 years ago, and have been happy as clams. But we did need emotional support at the time, and moving back home really helped.
ReplyDeleteI would like to add, I have been plagued by clinical depression for the last 10 years, and had a couple of years of it about 35 years ago. Even then, I'm a "glass half-full" kind of girl and I think looking for the good in life--even when life was very hard--has been my salvation. Cymbalta helps a lot, too! (Wish they had it 35 years ago!).
DeleteThank you for a little inspiration and the reality that sometimes just thinking happy, can't always make it so, and you are speaking for yourself alone. Though, I concurr that efforts to be grateful, thankful, and aware of blessings and goodness rather than a focus on what isn't working, has to help lead to a joy filled life.
ReplyDeleteI agree that nice surroundings aren't the whole story but a congenial environment can certainly contribute to a sense of well-being.
ReplyDeleteI think what you say is true. I used to suffer quite a bit with depression, but I did get over it as soon as I realized quite a lot of my own happiness is within my control. I'm not talking about things outside of our control, like a family member being ill, which I think is natural to feel sad and worried about. Counselling helped me, and yoga, and meditation. (My wonderful former yoga teacher said that unhappy thoughts and feelings are like clouds...... They do come, but at some point, they also go!) Keep up the good work on your blog. I am so happy you love where you live, and love your life and family. That's the best feeling, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHi Froogs
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately there are people in the world who simply cannot choose to be happy but I agree with your outlook on life..I choose every day to look at the good things in my life rather than focus on whats wrong and it works for me...I am a positive person with a great view of life and the circumstances I have found myself in.
I do think your surroundings make a huge difference but I also think you can see the positive in almost every situation you find yourself in. I have also found that the more positive I am , the more positivity seems to find me.
I love where I live, my family are all healthy, working and settled, so many may say that I have no reason to be depressed. However, I do suffer with depression, even though it would appear that I 'have it all'! I tried going down the 'no medication' route, and that failed totally, I have a chemical imbalance, and need medication, I have no choice!
ReplyDeleteAs far as I am aware, nothing actually triggered my depression, it just crept up on me. I refused to see a Doctor for over a year, insisting that I was just feeling a bit miserable. It was only when a work colleague took me to one side and told me, in no uncertain terms just how different I was compared to my 'normal' self and how my attitude was affecting other people that I saw my Doctor.
I also feel guilty that I get depressed, as I honestly have nothing to be miserable about, I'm early retired, financially stable, have the house of my dreams and the lifestyle I always wanted, I should be deliriously happy! It just shows that depression can hit anyone, at any time, and often for no apparent reason.
One thing I am absolutely sure of though, is that I'd be a lot worse if I had to live in a built up area, as noise makes me very tense. I need peace and quiet in my life and am lucky enough to have a lot of grounds around our house, so I have the peace and quiet I crave.
I appreciate that many people love being in big cities, with theatres, restaurants, etc, but for me, that would be Hell on earth!
It's all horses for courses in the end!
I've lived in three different cities and I loved the buzz, now I enjoy the quiet. I can be happy or sad anywhere. Fighting that bugger of a dog takes work, and as you say, not everyone can. Always love to hear from you xxx
Deletea positive attitude helps you and those around you.........it works for all of us.
ReplyDeleteMy sister taught me a really important lesson. Have a plan, and when that black dog looks over your shoulder, put that plan into practice without a second thought. And the plan? Hoover. I know! It sounds mad, but it's simple, it's non negotiable, you get off your bottom, and you get the Hoover out and you start to Hoover. Before too long, you're pleased your floor looks nice, you've had a little look around all the things that bless your life, you're on your feet and moving, and you've cheered up no end. So. Choose to be happy, and if the darkness creeps in: Hoover!
ReplyDeleteI love it, LOL
DeleteWhen I feel that darkness coming near, I exercise to raise my serotonin levels, I sweat and puff it away. An hours tramp up Bodmin moor in a howling gale does wonders.
DeleteI also choose to be happyy. Occasionally there are down days but that is real life. Hope the rest of your staycation is illness free :)
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what I have chosen to do, or am trying. I have relapse days where I can sink into misery, but I try to pull myself up and keep busy. Sometimes you don't get the path you wanted or thought you were going to have in life and I am trying to deal with that. I admire your attitude. Happiness can be in the little things, and sometimes has to be.
ReplyDeleteI suffer from depression and sometimes severe anxiety but I now have a plan so it goes away much much quicker. Its crafting. As soon as it hits I start making stuff. Its my savour. I no longer hide the fact Im feeling ill and that prepares family and friends for my silence and industrious craft making so I don't have to explain myself to anyone. When im well im the happiest person in the whole world and appreciate every moment of my life and I want for absolutely nothing because im so grateful to be well. Namaste my friends.
ReplyDeleteWell we did live in a town where people where very misogynous and judjemental, plus every person in our building was either suicidal, alcoholic, or borderline crazy (they smashed in doors at night, threw ski's and furniture from theyr window into the street, Wind up theyr dog on people and animals..) so..not the right place to get happy!! ;)
ReplyDeleteStill I enjoyed the smell of the air and the landscape. We didn't stay long.
So true. My husband and I recently separated (his choice not mine) but I am still happy. Life changing but not life threatening, and I look for the things to be thankful for. Sometimes it's a bit harder or challenging than other days, but I can always find something to appreciate and smile about. Have a great weekend. x
ReplyDeleteThere are times when you have to consciously choose to be happy regardless of your circumstances. Being in a beautiful place does help. I watched a Poirot last night that had been filmed in Looe and thought of you immediately - it looks absolutely beautiful. Life is full of wonderful moments with family and friends and just the joy and satisfaction of seeing your own home welcoming and homely. I have luckily never suffered from depression so my sympathy and support goes out to anyone in that situation and I would hope that I never judge anyone in those circumstances. It takes a great deal of personal strength and I admire your determination to go on regardless.
ReplyDeleteI live in cornwall and love it hear even though the town I live has rubbish public transport at the moment and I have 4 kids to get around and no car, I have lived in other parts of the country and had a rough child hood but I like to count my blessings and appreciate how far I have come and lavish my love and time on my kids . I don't think its where you live as we have problems where we live but we make the most of it and I think the way you have written your words is spot on . I have had depression issues and have huge health issues and am waiting for a 5th operation but you have to make the most of what you have and smile as life is short and you only get one chance at it. And also one smile at a time can change the world .
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the operation and that was the point I was making. I've lived else where and felt happy and sad all over the place, I've also been unhappy here. Mindfulness has helped me. Xx
Delete